Things Fall Apart

Let me ask you something,. Do you worry about the great contraversey? Like, good vs. evil warring invisibly all around you? We both know it's real and we both have had our moments of soberness where something happened that let us see. The thing is that I worry about the fact that those that are invisible and evil are very smart individuals. Much, much smarter than me. Am I unecessarily worried about being caught up in a drive-by supernatural incident? I don't think so, because I think I am somehow the object of contempt. The singular cause for all of the fighting. The thing that is being perverbially discussed, that is me. I know that. It's not that I'm egocentric, although, wow that has got to be about the most hugely egocentric position-the entire universe is fighting because of me. Yeah...but still, I believe that it is you and me that are born on a battlefield.

Battlefield..
blood
shooting
abandonment
surreal
slowmotion

So my amplification of worry today is that I have blindly gallavanted into this amazingly adorable person that I actually love, well more like adore, I have absolutely no reason to be afraid of anything because of this beautiful creature that is somehow mine right now. or rather, is in my care right now. So the point I am trying to make is that I am happy. I am happy and I am afraid of the horrible scheme being contrived somewhere in the darkness about how to make the flood of greatfulness that consumes me turn into disappointment and resignation. I am afraid. The more I love my boyfriend, the more I am afraid of the awful plans. The more wonderful he is to me and the more I trust him, the more I want to believe it is not going to get poisoned. But I see poison everywhere. It really seems hopeless to me actually, I want a weapon to fight with.
Battlefield-
sword
war horses
barbed wire
smoke
silence

All I want is not to pray for protection in vain.